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A few days ago my dad said something to me during breakfast that appears to be somewhat of a rude awakening for me.

He looked up from reading the papers and said to me “Josh, you’re turning 22 this year. Friends your age are starting work and stressing over  their car installments while you’re still in college,”

I gave him an acknowledging glance and replied in my usual, casual sardonic tone “Ahh, but that’s the beauty of it,”

He just shrugged and resumed reading his paper.

It took me a while to realize it but my dad wasn’t trying to talk down to me by noting my friends’ fast climb up the ladder to adulthood for the benefit of being spiteful.

He was actually, in his own way, trying to remind me that I have a life to get back to. That there’s still so much he knows I want out of life but for some reason, he’d noticed that I had grown complacent.

The truth is, I’ve been resting on my laurels, so content with living life one day at a time and enjoying myself that I have completely forgotten about my goals and how to go about accomplishing them.

His sudden remark brought me back down from cloud 9 and the next thing I knew: I was panicking.

I’m turning 22 and yet, I haven’t even made a dent on my list of things I want in life.

I’m still in college, going through the same mundane routine I’ve been accustomed to for the past 3 years.

That’s when I told myself I have to start pulling up my bootstraps and start building up my life.

Ergo, I started listing down things I want to be made into reality in the following years:

1. A Healthy Body


This is something I’ve been working hard at and I want to keep at it. It’s not about sporting a six-pack or bulging muscles. It’s about being healthy and having a healthy, toned body allows me to have the longevity and strength to further attain my other goals in life.

2. Graduation


I love my life in college. Probably more so than any student should but I need to move onto the next chapter of my education and the walk down the hall with “Pomps and Circumstance” playing in the background is long overdue.

3. A Steady Job


I hope to find a job that I love that not only pays well but teaches me things about the world that any classroom couldn’t.

Then again who doesn’t right?

4. Perform A Gig


I’ve been writing for sometime now and have recently began recording some of my tracks.

I hope to find an outlet where I can perform some of this songs and have the satisfaction of looking at the audience gratifying to every word and sentiment in my songs.

5. Love


Yes. I don’t wish to stay single for long and though I enjoy having my options, there will a point in time when I want to settle down and start looking for the one who makes my mornings brighter and my nights unencumbered.

6. Visit New York and San Francisco


I don’t need to travel anywhere exotic, though I may want to someday, but these two cities have been on my must-see list for a long time now and I know I’ll get there one day to see for myself the beauty of the concrete jungle and bask in the brilliance of its urban tenacity.

7. Travel


I’d want to expand my knowledge of the world instead of just reading about it.

8. Marriage


Waking up next to the one I love.

Braving life’s challenges together. The pitfalls, the relentless fights, the thrill of being a Mr and Mrs and the joys of monogamy.

I can’t wait.

9. Kids


I love kids.

I’d want one of my own someday. Maybe two.

10. Peace


The peace of knowing that I’ve accomplished my goals and growing old with the one I call love. And then going through the list of things I’ve done in life and marvelling at how I got to this point and thanking God for helping me through it all.

That just caps it all together wonderfully.


In response to someone’s recent post about the pros and cons of being a girl, I thought I’d enlighten you readers on some of my thoughts.

Here are my reasons why I think it rocks to be a girl:

You girls get to enjoy shopping without having people give you labels. To those dear to me, you’d know I have a knack for spending money like crazy on clothes. And for those who witnessed my less than flattering moment during a certain fitting session at a vintage store, you’d know how excited I get when I shop.

So here’s my beef: when a guy admits he loves to shop or shows a keen interest on his looks, he is immediately dubbed a “metro sexual” or “vain pot” or worse, gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, I just hate it when people use a word meant to describe a person’s sexual preference as a derogatory designation.


When girls shop or take good care of their skin by applying skincare or go for mani-pedis and facials, people don’t say anything because it is EXPECTED of them to do those things. But when a guy does it (not that I go for facials or  have my manicure done, I’m speaking on behalf of guys who do) people start raising questions over his orientation when he shows up having clearer or smoother skin than some of the other girls. Or when he starts accessorizing by wearing trendy sunglasses or ties a scarf. WHICH brings me to my next point.

Girls can be total fashionistas but when a guy does it, people go “Oh he’s so gay”. (Okay so it’s more like a sub-point but I’d like to stress further on this issue)

I don’t think this is a problem in other countries but in Malaysia or any other Asian country, guys who enjoy dressing up are called “sissies”, “pansies” or again GAY.

Whatever happened to freedom of expressing one’s self?

Is it wrong for a guy to showcase his colourful and artistic side by  the things he chooses to adorn himself with?

Why are people so frightened by a man who ties a shemagh scarf? Or a man who knows what is a shemagh scarf??


Girls who don’t know how to use power tools are excused but when a guy doesn’t know the difference between a spanner and a plyer, WAL (What A Loser). I confess. When it comes to using power tools, I’m clueless. Okay I can fix things up but I don’t enjoy it. And FYI, I do know the difference between a spanner and a plyer.

The thing is, I’m just not a DIY kinda guy. Why pretend to know what’s wrong with the kitchen sink and spend hours cluelessly trying to loosen a pipe with a wrench when you can call a plumber who can fix the thing up in a jiff?

And why slave outside in the garage, sawing and chopping up wood and hammering stuff so you can have a handmade rectangular box that keeps books. There’s a place where you can get those kinda stuff. It’s called IKEA.


But I don’t mind assembling the parts and in fact, I’m pretty good at it so, you see, I’m not that bad. Just don’t expect me to put on old jeans and strap a tool belt around my waist while carrying a chainsaw. Unless of course you’re into that sort of thing ; )

I’m not against people who love crafting stuff with their hands as a hobby but why impose it on us other guys who don’t? Does it makes us any less of a man not knowing how to saw stuff off or screw things? (well…)

Girls don’t have to face the humiliation of not being into sports. This has always been a pet peeve of mine. When people discover that I don’t play sports or don’t share the same insane obsession with football, I am by default put into the loser category.

Well granted if a loser means choosing to watch E! over ESPN or booing when Duffy lost the Best New Artist  award to Adele at the Grammy’s instead of booing when a guy, however skilled he is, doesn’t have the kenetic ability to will a ball from across a field of wet grass into a goal post then yes, I’m a loser.

But hey, at least despite Adele winning the award I can still move on with my life instead of PMS-ing around like my dick just passed fluids or acting like the world is about to end just because one unfortunate player missed the goal by three inches.

Girls can cry and mope and whine and complain all they want and people will just ignore them but when guys do it, it’s deemed UNMANLY.

Not that I cry or mope or whine or complain…that much but sometimes we guys need to let of some steam and we don’t need to be hassled or judged for it.

Or have our manhood and masculinity questioned.

It’s easy to put a guy down because NEWS FLASH, he’s got feelings.


Sometimes, guys just want to show their sensitive side and doing that shouldn’t have to mean waving the retired white flag of Mr. Masculinity. Why can’t guys be emotional once in a while?

After all that’s said, I’m still glad I am guy. Though I may not match up to what society perceives a man to be, at the end of the day I still have a penis. It takes a hell-of-lot of self assurance (and a group of wonderful friends who accepts you for who you are) to be able to face the harsh realities of the world but who cares? It boils down to this: being yourself. Manly or not.

Besides, being a girl means having to bear the pain of childbirth and I’ll be the first to admit, even I am not man enough to put myself through that kind of pain.

I am sure that the Rihanna/Chris Brown debacle is making its rounds on gossip vines and becoming the topic of many lunchhour conversations. The news that Rihanna cancelled the Asian leg of her Good Girl Gone Bad Tour ,which included a stop in KL, only adds fuel to the alleged assault case that happened last Sunday.


Now while it is confirmed that the woman singer Chris Brown assaulted is in fact his girlfriend Rihanna (real name Robyn Rihanna Fenty), details of the case is yet to be confirmed. We know for a fact that Rihanna and Chris left the Clive Davis party on Sunday just after midnight and the couple soon got into an argument that spurred Chris to  stop his silver Lamborghini at the side of a road. The next reports state that Rihanna was admitted to Cedars Sinai Hospital for treatment though the extent of her injuries remains uncertain.

However, new reports have surfaced an E! Online stating that Rihanna has talked to the police and though the details in the report have yet to  be confirmed by either party. This is the statement E! has issued, taken from PinkIsTheNewBlog:

Earlier today, the Los Angeles district attorney asked police detectives to dig up more evidence for their case against Chris Brown. The police are getting cooperation from Rihanna, and what she has told them so far is chilling.

A source close to the investigation tells E! News exclusively that Rihanna has alleged to police that Brown choked her while threatening to kill her and, subsequently, she lost consciousness. They began squabbling after leaving Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy party late Saturday. Shortly after midnight, things blew up. Brown pulled his silver Lamborghini to the side of a street in L.A.’s Hancock Park neighborhood. That’s when, per the source, Rihanna grabbed the car keys and tossed them out the window, sending Brown into a rage.

He tried in vain to find the keys, then came back to the car, put his hands around her neck and, according to the insider, said, “I’m going to kill you!”

According to the source, the 20-year-old “Disturbia” singer told police that she lost consciousness, and when she awoke, Brown had fled. According to the source, her right eye was blackened and badly swollen and she had hand prints on her arms.

The responding officers were so concerned about her, they drove Rihanna to the hospital in their squad car instead of waiting for an ambulance. Officers took two sets of photographs of the banged-up singer, one at the scene and the second after she was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for treatment.

Those photos were presumably among the evidence presented to the district attorney. After being treated for her injuries, police escorted her down a rear elevator and into a waiting Mercedes, the source says.

Brown, 19, was subsequently booked on suspicion of making criminal threats. He was released after posting $50,000 bail. His lawyer, Mark Geragos, has not responded to repeated requests for comment on the allegations. Brown’s publicist also has not commented.

A spokeswoman for Rihanna declined to comment specifically on details of the fight and the arrest and stuck to her earlier statement from Sunday: “Rihanna is well. Thank you for concern and support.”

If the reports are true, I just have to say that this could very well be one of the most sensational news of celebrity couple fights in Hollywood. Though I am sure it is not the end of Chris Brown’s career, his passably squeaky clean image and hearthrob appeal will most definitely be dashed.

I can only imagine the trauma and heartache Rihanna is going through and hope that she will take full advantage of her break to recuperate. This is really serious matter and if Rihanna decides to press charges, Chris could face court and even jail.

Just a thought,

why do they call it morning sickness if it lasts all day?

I just finished watching Milk.

For the uninformed, Milk is a biopic about the assassination of Harvey Milk, the first open homosexual to be elected into public office in California. The movie highlighted the trials and hardships Milk endured to fight for gay rights but was later gunned down by Dan White an opposing city supervisor.

When I started watching the movie, I was about to write it off as another one of Hollywood’s method of cashing in on the gay movement—what with all the hoopla with movies containing gay content i.e. Brokeback Mountain and The Midnight Cowboy.


But as I continued watching, I realized that instead of it being a movie about a gay politician standing for the rights of homosexuals; it was a tribute to a man who saw the need for a change in the way society looked at people who were different.

Director GUS VAN SANT didn’t just create a movie. He created a setting for a group of actors to pay homage to a great politician who fought hard to break the prejudice that people in that time had for homosexuals and helped pave the way for equal rights for the community, regardless of their sexual preference.

I thought that SEAN PENN was enlightening and effective in his delivery of Harvey Milk though his facial movements and manner of speech reminded me of his performance in I Am Sam. He does however strike an uncanny resemblance to his on screen counterpart.


A mural by John Baden of Harvey Milk at 575 Castro Street, the former site of Milk’s store, Castro Camera. Emerging from the gun at left is a quote from Milk: “If a bullet should enter my brain, let the bullet destroy every closet door.” Image taken from wikipedia.

Over 30,000 people marched from the Castro City Hall to honor slain Supervisor Harvey Milk and George Moscone, Mayor of San Francisco who also shot by White. To have that kind of affect on people is just astounding.

There were many things about the movie that made me think about the way society look at the gay community.

No doubt it has become a lot less of an issue though there are many who still oppose the very idea of homosexuality. Proposition 8 is merely an example of that. And as a Christian, I know that God’s view on the gay community is obvious. The words of ANITA BRYANT, a prominent campaigner who is against homosexuality echoes in my mind. She said:

“I believe that more than ever before there are evil forces round about us. And they are lurking among us. Maybe even disguised as something good,”

The very nature of her speech was nothing but contempt and hatred for what she believes is something of an unnatural phenomenon. She did however get pied in the face by a gay activist.

I for one prefer to keep an open mind—and a pie free face—when it comes to homosexuality. I always say this: my only problem with homosexuality is that God has a problem with it.

I appreciate people who have the guts for standing up for what they believe is right and have hope to confidently say that he or she can make a change.

To have that kind of determination and faith takes a lot of balls and courage.

If only more people could achieve something half as great as that then this suckfest of a world would definitely be a better place.

For a full review on Milk, click


I’m back.

I know it’s been a while and quite honestly, I’m thinking twice about hitting the “publish” button.

It’s not that there isn’t anything interesting going on in my life–in fact, there’s so much, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m just not sure if I’m comfortable “talking” about it on my blog hence the silent treatment.

That aside, there are some things I want to get off my chest and they’re basically little revelations I’ve had about myself that I didn’t know.

Now each discovery could have been a blog post on its own but due to my lack of brain cells to match witty and funny lines to deliver my points and articulate it in such a way that would be deemed interesting for you lot to read, you’re gonna have to settle for a quick, brief, list of my recent findings:



In recent months I have discovered that sometimes girls are not quite as easy to figure out.

While some guys often scratch their heads and even resort to reading self help books to improve their understanding of the female species, I, who’s had the profound advantage of interacting with girls all my life, pride myself in having maintained good, healthy and platonic relationships with girls which often gives me the upper hand when it comes to figuring them out. I just find them easier to understand and easier to talk to compared to guys–which says an awful lot about me, innit?

But lately I’ve come to learn that when it comes to certain things, I can be just as baffled as the next guy.

RECENT DISCOVERY #2: I Don’t Quite Fancy Chocolates


It took me a long time to realize but yes, I’m no big fan of the cocoa. I may eat it but I don’t salivate or go crazy over them like other people do.

Chocolate fondue. Chocolate muffins. Chocolate bars. Not a big fan.

However, a certain someone’s freshly baked brownies is an exception to this = )



Well not completely, but I’ve realized that for a 22 year-old I sure know squat about the world around me.

Yes, I’ve learned to read the headlines and other solid write ups on world issues and not JUST the entertainment sections in newspapers but I still don’t know enough.

Having Steve Aufrecht and his wife Joan over the past Sunday was a perfect display of me not being able to carry  a decent adult conversation.

Having said that, meeting the Aufrechts are awesome. They are rich in knowledge and inspire me to want better things for myself in life.

RECENT DISCOVERY #4: I Obsess About Having A “HOT BOD”


I have become something I never thought or dream I’d be: an excercise junkie.

I’m not pumping steroids or downing protein shakes (yet) or anything but I am starting to overexert myself.

I jog almost everyday. I’ve been going to the gym for more than twice a week. I’m doing sit ups in my room for hours at night. I can’t even sit down normally without doing lifts with my legs.

All this to attain an enviable physique: six packs, solid pecs bulging muscles and all its glory.

I think I’m sick.

RECENT DISCOVERY #5: I’m Beginning to Lose Confidence in Myself


I think the title says it all. I don’t even know how to go on about it.

February 2009
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